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Dear Abby

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Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

My husband hasn’t worked for the last 14 years. All he does is get dressed in the morning and hop in his fancy car to visit his cronies. I know he’s cheated on me many times with young girls who could be his grand-daughters. I know this because he brags about this to me. He smokes fancy cigars and drinks the most expensive champagne day and night. We sleep in separate beds because he tells me he knows I am a lesbian and my varicose veins and fat behind turns him off. Should I clobber him with a frying pan, or should I just leave him?

Your advice would be appreciated.


Mad as hell


Dear Mad as hell,

You don’t have to take that kind of treatment from any man.  I suggest you pack your bags and move out ASAP.

Don’t resort to clobbering him with the frying pan.

Try to act more like a lady.

Remember…you are running for President of the United States, so try to act like it!

Best of luck to you.